HDB'S HEARTSBROKEN

The 21st of May 2005 will go down as a dark day in HDB history ,the day when the DEE suffered the pain and ignominy of relegation from the top flight of Scottish football,not that any of us are unfamiliar with the ups and downs that go with following the team,but due to the perilous financial position of the club,this was one fall we had not dared to contemplate the consequences of,many fearing it could signal the total demise of the great institution that is Dundee Football Club.

With the benefit of a few weeks,it has now become apparent that Dundee F.C. will survive to fight again next season in the SFL,and the players must understand that it will be a real fight that MUST be won,this could well be the final roll of the dice.

With these consequences in their minds the HDB's were mustered in the absence of Jabba(on tour in the Caribbean) to make one final massive effort in the support of the team by stand in Mao tours inc.and head off to Almond vale knowing that only a win would do.This, at a ground we had never won at, in a season when we had not won anywhere without a DD postcode,not too much to ask surely.

The day began badly for Mao on arriving to pick up the bus,he was told "Oops, the cooncil had that one oot and havnae returned it"....."oh Jeez what would Jabba do?" "Can i get 17 into my Cavalier"...just as panic was beginning to set in, the hire company unearthed a bone shaking 15 seater with roof rack!!

Better than nothing thought Mao...and there's space for a kerry oot whar the seats are missing,so the HDB's were off with the kerry oot and a mountain of food gathered from a party the previous night,safely tucked away beside Arnie, John H and Iain Addo!!!!!!(talk aboot kids in a candy store)With John firmly ensconced up the rear, reference was made to Alphonso the rear gunner from Perrugia,but i'll leave the Perrugia boys to explain that ane.....

Pulling into Aviemore to collect the Moray contingent of Mark, Blair,Danny and Alan Smith the bus was greeted by the unusual site of Dennis the Menace decked oot in Dark Blue waiting to make the trip , Turns oot oor favourite Airman was on duty and didnae want to be identified on camera so had taken on the Dennis identity to avoid detection much to the amusement of all onlookers.

The bus trundled on southward passing the many flying carpets and camel jockeys heading north for their own sphincter clinching gemme in Inverness,Billy Watson having partaken a fair quantity of his own highland "juice" decided relief would have to be taken in an empty Magners tin much to the consternation of John who feared a religion changing experience was about o take place if Mao braked sharply and screamed "Mao, we'd better hae a P**s stop ......NOW" So 17 relief seeking HDB's lined the side of the A9 sighing, grinning and gesticulating with their spare hands towards the north bound Arabians!!! after re-boarding it was onwards non stop to the next rendezvous point in Perth to pick up Spud,who due to the lateness of arrival had started his own picnic and was delighted to find further sustenance available on the bus, although a fair dent had been made in supplies by this time. Just Stirling services left now to pick up Phil Harper and on the way past Auchterarder Alan Smith found out he'd no secured his Scarf affy well to the windae and it was whipped of into the Perth shire countryside ,causing a fair few expletives,this also explains any Dee supporting coo's wandering about in the vicinity.(Once knew a couple of Arab supporting cows but that's another story).Passing the many DEE's buses on the road brought memories of cup final day flooding back and the kids delight at seeing Dennis the menace brought a smile to many a face (well done Dave)

On hitting the outskirts of Livingston and not knowing the geography affy weel,driver Mao hit on a cunning plan and spotting another DEE supporters bus shouted "just follow these lads, be their in a jiffy noo boys" but after traveling twice roond the ring road it became apparent the driver in front didnae have a scooby either!.....Eventually arriving at the bus park at the Stadium the HDB's decanted excitedly fae the bus only to re board promptly as it started pissing doon,the remainder of the kerry oot and eats were swiftly demolished before heading into the damp Almondvale afternoon for the gemme

Young Cameron met big Lee in the car park and was well chuffed to get his signature,dinna ken how chuffed Lee was when Dennis the menace confronted him to shake hands though! It was decided by organizer Mao that due to the large crowd a'body would do well to get into the ground swiftly so the unusual occurrence of the HDB's missing the pub prior to the game turned out to be a prudent decision by the wise elder Mao,as on entering at 13.40 the ground was already half full.

Trumpets and balloons (no, not Yenited supporters,they came later) were being given out on entry to swell the party atmosphere and once ths large flags were unveiled a cacophony of noise and a sea of dark blue greeted the players when they emerged for the warm up.

A fantastic welcome greeted the players onto the park and after an early chance for Stevie Lovell,Dundee had to endure several scares before Calum Macdonald strode forward to send the Dark blue Faithful in to raptures,bedlam ensued ,choruses of "we can see you on the hill " rang out to encourage the poor souls locked out in the pishing rain and for 8 minutes joyous scenes ensued till of all people, ex Arab Craig Easton bundled in an equalizer after some poor DEE defending.Half time arrived with the crowd still in good spirits and hopeful of a winner in the second half,entertainment was provided by a "keepie uppy mannie" who performed all through the break while Dennis went on walkabout.

The second half had the Dee's pressing forward and leaving themselves vulnerable at the rear but with 3 points essential these tactics had to be risked,surviving the counters, Boaby Mann,Scott Robertson,Cab and Tam Macmannus all had attempts on goal and Ando suffered a head injury in a clash with Bahoken,6 mins injury time was added for this and despite Dundee's best efforts no more goals were forthcoming ,Tams effort glancing the wrong way off the post and as the final whistle was blown a pitch invasion from both sets of supporters took place, but no trouble occurred from either set of fans despite high emotions as grown men and their sons wept at the realist ion of what had just taken place.

As the HDB's slowly filed back onto the bus for the long haul back north a gloom descended for a period of contemplation as things sank in,but some were getting more philosophical as Mao wound his way through the back roads via Linlithgow and on to Stirling to drop off Phil.At this point all food and drink had been decimated,the only item left being a tin of beans ,which John had with him for reasons best known to himself!!!,Dennis decided this should be ceremoniously buried and then surreal sight of Dennis the Menace burying a tin ofHeinz finest baffled many a passer by.As Perth came into view thoughts were turning towards revitalizing supplies and after dropping Spud and Alan Smith off to head to Dundee , Dunked was agreed on as the fueling stop.Now if you have never visited the FISH and chip shop shop in Dunkeld you are in for an experiance....The HDB's piled off the bus and into the mouthwatering aroma's of the chippy...."Eh'll hae a fish supper please" was the first order....."sorry we dinna hae fish" ...."but its a ******* FISH and chip shop" ..."sorry nae fish"...."

 

ach well, Eh'll hae that piece oh chicken then"....the reply came back"cannae hae that ,the chickens spoken for"....FFS a chicken that was spoken for...only in Dunkeld,Arnie wandered off in disbelief shaking his head and settled for a bag of crisps,thinking the day couldnae get worse when hoardes of Arabs descended on Dunkeld returning from Inverness,the last thing the boys wanted to see , however most were ok with only a few goading,most realising it could so easily have been them,had they not cheenged the Management team a few weeks earlier.

On arrival back in Sneck, John and Addo decided since they'd hardly had any drink all day! they would head to Foxes for "closure" and were touched(nothing new to Alphonso)as ICT supporters came across to offer commiserations on our relegation.

All in all, a bitterly dissapointing day for all connected with Dundee Football Club but the memories engendered and the friendships made on days such as this last a lifetime....bring on Stranrear......Dundee F.C 1st division Champions 20005-2006

(Copyright Mao and Pres)